I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, but please dont filter the Bible through your own experiences. Other times, I will be simply told that there is a new rule or that I am forbidden to do something. Jennifer, I moved your comment to a new post so more people could see it and respond. I debated putting this in the Godly ladies' thread but decided that I would risk my reputation to be thought of as forward because this is just too good to keep from men. I have traveled to Africa, Asia, and many parts of the world. Domestic Discipline It doesnt matter if millions of legitimate lives deviating from the average are frustrated and destroyed in the process, these are just data points). Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. It is not because you happen to discover it now that it is new thing. He was seeking my input when I offered that this was his decision to make and I would just have to deal with it, and that he should just do what he thinks is best. How about at your own home growing up, was your mother spanked? This is just like disciplining kids, just discipline. Our opinions dont matter when our husbands spanks us. Hubby seems to like anal sex. s Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage Twosummers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. What a shame men have come along and subverted His purposes for women. Dont just believe what an individual survivor tells you: though survivors have much wisdom based on their own experiences, their own experiences may not be generalisable to others completely, and this applies ESPECIALLY in regards to legal options. How Can He Learn It? A relationship that infantilizes a woman is one that clearly draws a more pathological group of people. Now here is the hilarious part you may have missed did you catch the guys credentials? The article talked about it being abusive to spank children up to adulthood, but why is it only abusive if it is done up to adulthood. And now for the part that might get me consigned to the doghouse: He is one pompous donkey. It is not a defense of Domestic Discipline. You have decided that you are better than everybody, however humility and open-mindness are the beginning of knowledge. We left and started the long drive to my parents house and after about an hour I started again. It feels right and the way it should be.It has made a difference in our lives in a big way. Meredith, learningdd.com, 3. Ive been thinking about this quite a bit. This is really strange, as it seems the husband turned a non-consensual sex fetish into his personal gratification and not his wifes, while hurting her mentally and physically through some crazy fabricated punishment, Lets treat adults like adult and lets avoid the temptation of playing the role of God.. No, no previous assumptions, just submitting to the plain word of God will do for me. I wished people like you existed since the beginning of times so the world would be a much better place even though apart from labelling people victims and abusers, your general philosophies do not do much to help relationships work as is evidenced by the disfunctional state of marriages today that have become a mess just at the same period your ideological ideals started to become turned into laws. Uh oh. Dont you think a woman like that has no theology to support her and is outside the will of God? My dad spanked me before I got married a lot but he doesnt really spank me much anymore but Ben said he can if he wants to. Wife Spanking, Christian Domestic Discipline, Domestic Violence *** You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. How does a husband exert authority over a woman? He told me I was never to wear such slutty clothing and made me throw them all away (after beating my bottom). Jamin would look at porn and tell [redacted] it was her fault he was looking at porn on the computer. I believe that the only people to spank a woman is a father, husband, mother, and maybe a disciplinarian. The professionals in DV services are trained (or should be trained!) If you find a bad doctor you dont rubbish the whole of medicine. Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Your position is unbiblical. And the whole of sub-saharan Christian Africa. However, the husbands are commanded to love us.Bottom linemen would rather be respected than loved. It seems like my husbands leadership skills have developed so strongly. Please remember blog rules. Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. Rock showed the stars and you looked at the finger. We dont advocate for nouthetic counseling here. When the man takes charge and makes really good, well-thought-out (and prayed for) decisions, its pretty easy for 2. The safety plan needs to be reviewed and modified whenever the situation changes e.g. Julie Anne, your visitors are in the main grindingly politically correct and feminist and you are the chief, so much so that you cannot see that the Junia site, advocating for the inclusion of women in leadership in the Christian church and for mutuality in marriage is not the slightest bit feminist and flying in the face of scripture (starting with Genesis 2:18 and 3:16 funny how many great verses in the Bible are 3:16, isnt it? Christian Domestic Discipline (Wife Spanking Discipline spanking on the bottom is NOT abuse, its called just that, discipline. I am in my early 30s and this past 4th of July I was there and we had a bit of an argument. Christian Domestic Discipline, wife spanking, Christian Patriarchy Movement, Spanking of Adult Children, Denominational Practices and teachings Two summers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. Finally, Daisy be more Christ-like; keep your nose out of my bedroom. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. Have you read Marys song, known as the Magnificat? Later my dad told me that he was glad I have a husband who keeps me in line and that I had better behave if I dont want him to repeat it. [redacted] never told anyone at that time, and there is no photographic evidence of the bruises or any witnesses. Lets keep working on putting a stop to it. I would commit some offense that my parents/husband thought was wrong, I was told I was going to be punished, I would end up over a lap and afterward would be told to pray. ), (Cherry picking or distorting verses such as _1 Tim 2.12_ and keep tossing them my way does not count. The thing is that he never raged. The one thing that surprised me was how happy all the married couples were. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts series on BGRLearning.com. (the link to their blog is currently on the upper left hand side of the page): When you first commented on here, I was prepared to hear you out I know someone personally who has fetishes, and hes admitted to me that can be a struggle for him in his marriage. You should address your own problems before aspiring to protect people against themselves. How are you doing now? Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Christian We were told that it was biblicalto spank our teenagers, even ones who were overlegal adulthood. My father and his loser ilk liked Christianity because no woman with any self respect would stay married to them once she got to know the real him, have sex with him, or have children with him. For this purpose moderation and tolerance are key. Its the word of God: Or are women and little girls suppose to hurt to make Christian men feel good, I lived this life, it hurts so much. The fact is: The Lord quoted scripture to the Pharisees, and floored them, and the Sadducees for that matter. WebBDSM provides a helpful framework for communication and safe, consensual exploration. Now, I am not condoning what happened to Lauren, because it appears she was not consenting. I wanted to thank you so much for all of your articles. When I was growing up, it was not in a household that practiced Christian Domestic Discipline. Go back to the word (Luke 4:1-13) and see for yourself. My daughters and I attend Sunday school that our pastor does for all the women who get spanked when they are bad. Are these threats real? I was hoping the article was good no to come out and say that all hitting, whether it is an adult or child, is assault, but I didnt see that. It is not for you to determine someones path of recovery. s Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage Am I Enabling My Cheating Husbands Sin by Staying withHim? D husband turned a non-consensual sex fetish. Your inability to understand your counterpart speaks volume and certainly does not honour you. Im not a 15 year old kid still living under my fathers and mothers authority. I would like to give a example: The husband asked the wife to wash the dishes she said tomorrow that resulted in a spanking. How? Even praying to be able to forgive is a start. Did you find someone to share with? I know have a tremendous amount of respect for my husband. They want to give. ever. 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. I have a lot of respect for your father, and husband. [redacted] said she has become numb to the abuse and did not feel scared, not like in the beginning. I wanted to know how did Lauren get from the point where wife spanking was considered normal to the place where she said, THIS IS WRONG it is ABUSE!. Ben at first thought I was joking, but when I took him to the scripture and showed him, and had my pastor sit him down and teach him about CDD, he saw the light, reluctantly, and agreed to be the HOH of our home. (also known as gender complementarianism, biblical womanhood, patriarchy) And Junia, may God bless her, doesnt do it. Example please? They just dont want to be p**s*sy w**pp*d into it. So anyway, of course God gives our husband and other authority persons who have our husbands permission to punish us. The Bible keeps the door firmly shut on what goes on in the marital bedroom and so should you. He spanked his wife so he could get the demons out and to stop the bad behavior which he labeled as narcissism. Please go and speak to a pastor in a completely different church from the one they were in (I should recommend a sister in a Pentecostal church, but thats just my personal suggestion) and I know you will get more than a sympathetic ear. I know for a long time I did not consider myself a battered or abused wife. But when you come back home, keep in mind that the world is not a war zone. Do you have any children? And with that final parting shot, we can all say good bye and good riddance to Lone Voice. Does the power differential matter? Her treatment is horrid and nothing short of physical, sexual, and mental torture. They did not see his authority as abusive, but appropriate. Claire Roise: Oppressed and Defenseless Women within the Church, Flying Free: Help for Survivors of Emotional Abuse, Lori Anne Thompson on Clergy Sexual Misconduct. I agree with that. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons [and daughters] of God. (Matthew 5:6,9 ESV). Men do not step up to the plate to defend women. Let me start at the beginning. When I got older and was being bullied or harassed by other men or women, you know who defended me? Its not just me that talks about your husband having authority, Julie Anne. Sometimes, he will seek my input about rules or behavior standards. I find joy in being a submissive wife. Click on the image at the top or you can click here to go BGRLearning.com to subscribe and listen to this series as well as hundreds of other biblical gender roles related podcasts. Here is a tasty quote AGAINST wife-spanking: Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse in Christian homes, says CDD isnt about religionits an outlet for emotionally disturbed men with intimacy deficits. So if not understanding DD is not understanding justice then you are already acknowledging that DD is non-consensual. So when my husband spanked me the first time, I was embarrassed, but I thought maybe it was my fault or somehow it was OK. States have laws restricting what people in a position of influence can do with those they employ or counsel or pastor or treat. couples are a mess, for all the talk women abuse is nowhere close to being fixed but now masculinity is also in a crisis. Myself. I have learned that he LOVES!! I could never respect any god that would put such sick, stupid, selfish, sexually sadistic men in those positions. Careful, Julie Anne, true alpha females dont go over the top. Good for them? What can be done to safely expose these abusers for what they really are and protect these women. That alone gives me a strong desire to please him.What I am trying to say is MENIf you lead she WILL follow, and she will be content in doing so. Anonymous, christiandomesticdiscipline.com, 5. You already have biblical examples of women leading and preaching men such as Deobrah in the OT, Junia the Apostle, etc. And should she submit and obey him if he asks someone else to punish her for something, including a spanking? States have laws limiting marriage of close relatives. Jennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. Those who advocate domestic discipline do so on the basis of several passages taken out of context and wildly interpreted. Right now, you are in a state of intellectual intolerance that you try to justify by invoking science. I would be fine with the term myself if used in that manner, but the word feminism unfortunately is usually associated with left wing, radical types who tend to do things like support abortion, and a lot of them vote Democrat. They told me that I needed to do a better job of obeying and not being disrespectful or difficult and told me I needed to pray more to be a better wife. Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline Even if I were to make a pledge, my father would have nothing to do with it. I will monitor all of your comments now. Webchristian domestic discipline; Corset Waist Training; Deep Thoughts; Exercise and Chocolate; Fiction; maintenance; marriage; my submissiveness; Orgasm Control; Pierced Nipples; Punishment; Spanking; Submission; swingers When the policeman is at the door because the neighbors heard the wife screaming in pain, does she say all is well because it is truly an egalitarian, consensual relation, or does she say all is well because she knows that he is going to physically hurt her, or her kids or her family or whatever. Its brilliant. In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. 1. _50 SHADES OF GREY AND PATRIARCHY: WHAT EXACTLY DID WE EXPECT?_. You need to be more Christ-like, Jesus never told a woman that she had to be subject to any man, have sex with her husband against her will. Our families, and some of our friends think we are nuts, me mostly, for living this way, but I can honestly say that the 10 years of our marriage I am most happy knowing that I can at any moment end up crying with a sore bottom over my husbands lap. Until I moved out, both her and my father spanked me, although he did most of it. Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Spare the rod, spoil the wife You went from your father as protector/provider/authority to your husband as protector/provider/authority. And it just baffles me that getting hit makes your marriage closer. Christian When I asked abut their secret, the answer was usually a giggle and, You should take the class on preparing your self to be a Godly wife. When I took the class that is where the concept of a CDD relationship came from. Why? Thats too much? If Satan can keep you in the past, he will rob you of your future. We have a page for cybersafety in our Resources section too. Did you even read the post? of Lone Voice, Its a logical progression. WebThen I went to college and met my husband James, and became a Christian. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation ofspanking of children through adulthoodand also the transfer of headshipfrom father to new husband when a young lady gets married. In the 70s went screaming for Radio Talk Show Host to interview abused women in the church; we havent come far have we? You are free to live this lifestyle. that. Just as with contracts, there can be duress in various forms, be it a demotion and other forms of financial abuse, bad grades and other forms of potentially public defamation, and just the simple threat of increased violence. Isnt bullying between two consenting children? I met Ben, my husband, at a work function, and when I found out he was a Christian agreed to go out with him. God told the Israelites to pass laws and enforce them. Its strikes me as odd that I am in the kind of relationship that we are in and, to be honest, I get what I want most of the time just by asking. When we got there he told me that he was fed up with the way I was behaving and I was going to be punished right then. You are interpreting the Scriptures in error, just as the Pharisees did. You have also obviously been influenced by kinky secular culture, such as books and films that promote S&M. Or were they connected with teachings similar to an article I wrote, Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? The church needs to know this is going on. Lydia00, Eph 5:21 does not contradict what follows., I agree. Our marriage is energized. The only time the word authority is used in conjunction of marriage in the New Testament is when the New Testament states that wives have authority over their husbands body. Youre welcome, JA. It mush be nice to be self righteous dont you think. Sorry, have not read anything here yet! Webchristian domestic discipline; Corset Waist Training; Deep Thoughts; Exercise and Chocolate; Fiction; maintenance; marriage; my submissiveness; Orgasm Control; Pierced Nipples; Punishment; Spanking; Submission; swingers This is not some sort of dark movement where people are held in chains in basements. there is one kind of safety plan while the victim is still living with the abuser, and the plan gets modified when she leaves the abuser, and modified again when things alter significantly, such as if the abuser loses his job, if a court hearing is pending or has just happened, or when anything changes which might affect the risk for the victim. Dark child, your nickname tells me something about your view. Shes also been provided several examples of those that have tried to leave (e.g. I write about marital discipline in a Christian home at my website spankingyourwife.wordpress.com. Change). I want any other women reading this to know that your (Lone Voices) position is NOT biblical, and God created women to lead and teach men if he gifted them in those areas, and God created women to be equals with men in marriage. Christian Domestic Discipline, wife spanking, Christian Patriarchy Movement, Spanking of Adult Children, Denominational Practices and teachings Two summers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. http://cryingoutforjustice.com/resources/hotlines/. Bike Bubba My father could sit on his self worshipping bottom the whole time my mother suffered through pregnancy and birth, he did not have to dread horrific genital pain, he sure got a thrill that she did. Finding resolve amidst the dissonance of "churchianity". Christian Domestic Discipline - 09-23-2011, 11:08 PM. I read someone say they did have to obey, even in that, because she is to obey in EVERYTHING. Glad that I could help. My father told me the pain I caused my mother when she gave birth to me pleased him. Well, thats their altar. Either they think you are into some sort of kinky lifestyle or they think you are a mindless doormat. Just to give one example of an alternate interpretation: I understand the phrase he shall rule over thee as a description of one outcome of the Fall, not as a command that would restore things to their proper place. As far as I can see, no one in this conversation is opposed to the Bible or its teachings, but to your interpretation of them. You never fail to amuse. I just dont have the time or energy to debate people like A Lone Voice. I found an old post of yours from last year. . But the Pastor wouldnt agree with her that her husband was being too strict. Webchristian domestic discipline; Corset Waist Training; Deep Thoughts; Exercise and Chocolate; Fiction; maintenance; marriage; my submissiveness; Orgasm Control; Pierced Nipples; Punishment; Spanking; Submission; swingers It should be private. I disagree with secular feminists on most topics and am not politically correct., (Speaking of being Un-Politically Correct: I dont know how wide-spread the practice was, but I remember my parents had no problem threatening me with discipline where other people from our church were within earshot and dont remember ever hearing any kind of shock or outrage from anyone else. Submission is not meant for badits meant to give us more freedom actually. Danielle, butlerpartyof3.com, 7. What was it like in my Patriarchal home, you ask? Not sure whether you can hear me in the doghouse (or if youre even hanging around anymore), but Id like to offer some insight as to why you might have ended up there. I wonder if we could have the connection. And if they fail to submit or they fail in other duties as wives they willingly accept Domestic Discipline. what happens if your HOH does something? We are touching, hugging, playfully spanking, and making more love than ever before. Ben has never told me to do anything sinful I do getting spankings sometimes by other men in authority like my dad and my Minister, Ben says that OK because they are authority figures and he has given them permission to correct me. Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. Oh boy, here we go. Get the joke now? Youre filtering Scriptures not only through your experiences, but also a previous assumption that God approves and condones patriarchy, and you read that back into the Bible. There is a great website written by a former feminist who now lives this life with her husband, as well as their daughters with their husbands. I do not ask you to embrace this way of life, the only thing I ask you is to stop being on the wrong side of history with these disguting tactics. I was able to find the two snippets from the show below: The husband in the article (and Dr. Phils show)also claimed to be a Christian (non-denominational background). How does a Christian man go about introducing Domestic Discipline into his marriage and what techniques actually work? If accusations of anger are routinely hurled as thought stoppers by Christian tyrants everywhere, just think how effective wolf must think it will have been to accuse you of rage. This wife did not like getting spanked. You go to great lengths to make it a mental sickness and an abuse which it isnt. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 50 Things I Want To Tell My Daughter On Her 18thBirthday, To The Mother Figures In Our Lives: You Made Us Who We AreToday, Time To Drink From Gold Chalices Love Is Blind Season 4 IsHere, Why Horror Is So Much Scarier When Its Located In A BigCity, My HIV+ Story Is One I Refuse To Be AshamedOf. Its in the Lords Prayer as well: forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Its not right. Are there other women is situations this dire? If more husbands would do this, we would have LESS divorces and better marriages. Christian Domestic Discipline Each jurisdiction has its own laws and its own policies for how law enforcement deal with domestic abuse. But to broaden that out and say that no woman should ever be spanked tramples on individual conscience. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts He has this idea that he loves to spoil me sometimes but will never have a spoiled wife. Why are saddle-wearing men seen as free agents, capable of free thought, in direction of their own life? I got spanked as a child and so did my brother and we turned out great! Enjoy each others smug, judgmental company. But since then youve gone on to talk as though male headship is required in all Christian marriages, and as though feminism is some kind of dirty word.